apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he was CRYING into my vagina
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
