Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
