I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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