how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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