Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize