i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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