If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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