If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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