I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
