I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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