Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
love makes seman taste better
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
