just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
