Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
