why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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