Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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