I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We need a shit load of segways right now
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
