Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
