My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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