Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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