And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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