he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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