So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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