So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
