redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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