"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
