he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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