im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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