Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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