Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
