Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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