I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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