We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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