Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
