evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize