I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
