To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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