i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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