Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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