Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
