I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My life is pants optional.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
