Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
