Banned from zoo.
Again?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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