I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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