You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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