Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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