I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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