When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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