Your tits are I can't wait for
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Randomize
