we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
