I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
