Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
