And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize