I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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