his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
