She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
