You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize