The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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