I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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