After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
