I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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