Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
