Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
