Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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