I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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