You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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